SCRIPT TITLE AND AUTHOR
Cyber Bob and the Silicon Kid
by Brian Price and Jerry Stearns
Comedy, Science Fiction
11 characters -- 1 adult male lead, 1 Adolescent male lead, 1 Adolescent female lead,
1 Cyber-bar tender,
2-3 patrons, 1 computer game announcer, 1 computer nerd, 1 computer voice,
1 whiz kid
COMPLETE SCRIPT LENGTH
23 pages, 28 minutes
general, high school, college
Copyright 2000 by Brian Price and Jerry Stearns, all rights reserved
About the author:
Audio drama and comedy writer/producers Brian Price and Jerry Stearns
have written for and had work produced and performed by some of public radio's biggest names--Garrison Keillor, David Ossman of the Firesign
Theatre and Dan Coffey-aka, Dr. Science. In 1995 Stearns and Price formed Great Northern Audio Theatre Productions. They have written
and produced Tumbleweed Roundup, Permafrost, MN, Drummer's Dome and many other shows
including a number of live performances celebrating the annual Mark Time Audio Science Fiction Awards. They are members
of the National Audio Theatre Festivals. Visit their WEBsite at:
This script makes fun of all things computer--from the first M.I.T. phone hackers to cyberpunk to Hal in 2001: A Space Odyssey to
dungeons and dragons--we had fun spoofing it all. But we quickly found that there's another layer to this story. Like with pop and
youth culture, computer culture has no sense of history, no memory, only NOW. And with no sense of history one has no sense of belonging
or family. So, when the Silicon Kid asks Cyber Bob to search for his true identity, he's really asking Cyber Bob to find out how he fits
in, which is a very human need. When the Kid finds out in the end that he's just a kid and not a machine, then he feels the need to
belong and be part of something. His solution is to buy an instant family--oh, well, some dot.com habits die hard.
|For information regarding this script contact:
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Brookings, SD 57006
Summary of Production Script
The play opens at Babbage House, a Cyber Coffee Bar, with ace-computer hacker, Cyber Bob, telling stories about the good old
days of room-sized computers and punch cards. In comes the Silicon Kid and his Super of All Supermodel friend, Nadia. They want to hire
Cyber Bob to find the Silicon Kid. Wait a minute--isn't the Silicon Kid standing right there in front of Bob? Well, that's what Bob is
going to have to find out. Bob searches for the Kid's true identity in an interactive gaming program. He goes to ultra-nerd Spider
Webhead and finally he hacks deep inside Microdeal Computers to face Sal, the ultimate mainframe. The mystery to the Silicon Kid's
identity is simple. "You're just a kid, kid." "What's the mean?" It means that after the kid is bought out by the next generation and
the stock market crashes, Nadia and the Silicon Kid are subject to the worst of all possible fates--they're going to have to act their age--they're gonna have to go back to 7th grade. But, with a billion
dollars and Cyber Bob as their new uncle it might not be all that bad.
Excerpt from Production Script
NADIA: Cyber Bob, will you find the Silicon Kid for us? You must
say yes. You are our only hope. You're the best old-style hacker
we've ever heard of and--
BOB: Old-old style hacker. Old-style--I tell you what. You give
me a stack of punch cards. It can be a short stack. Any kind of
stack you want--doesn't bother me. You just give me a stack of punch
cards and I can rule the world. (MUMBLES) Old-style hacker....
NADIA: I meant no disrespect, Cyber-Bob. It is just that Microdeal
is an old well-established corporation.
KID: Yeah, they've been around for over 4 or 5 years.
NADIA: And we need somebody who's been around at least that long himself.
SFX Bar phone rings a couple of times
BILL: (OFF) I'll get that.
KID: Don't answer it, BIll. It's Microdeal trying to track me
down through an old MAbell telephone circuit. I can tell by the ring.
BOB: I see you know your phones, kid.
KID: Yeah, I've hacked a few in my day.
BOB: (GOING OFF) Let's amscray.
SFX Door opens/slams/Cyber bar out
SFX Sound of limo pulling out
SFX Interior of limo--muffled traffic sounds
KID: Here Nadia, why don't you make yourself comfortable. Sit on my lap.
NADIA: Oh, you silly boy. The chauffeur might be watching.
KID: Ah, don't worry. He doesn't even watch the road.
NADIA: Ok. (BIG FLOP)
KID: Oooooof. Ugh. (GASPING) I can't breathe.
NADIA: Sorry, Kid. Maybe we should try something else. Here--why
don't you sit on my lap.
KID: (STRUGGLING) Oh, ok.
BOB: Huh, never figured there was a down side to sitting in the
backseat of car with a seven-foot super model. Ouch, watch your foot.
KID: (STRUGGLING) Ah, sorry, Bob.
NADIA: That better, my sweet Kid?
KID: Wow, yeah, and now I can see out the window. Neat. (BEAT)
(CLEARS THROAT) Well, Cyber Bob, perhaps you'd feel more comfortable
about our working relationship if we discussed compensation.
BOB: Ah, yeah, I guess so.
KID: How about a pro hockey team?
BOB: Hockey team?
KID: Everybody on the coast seems to have one. I've got three. I
thought maybe a hockey team might cover your expenses for the hack.
BOB: Huh, I was going to hold out for a couple meals at Denny's.
What exactly would I do with a hockey team?
KID: Micro manage the thing. Force some city to build you a new
stadium. The usual. Use it as a tax write-off.
BOB: Oh. Now, what was it that you wanted me to do?
NADIA: Hack into Microdeal's top-secret, ultra secure personnel
files and find out if the Silicon Kid is an android.
KID: Cyber Bob, it is imperative that we find out if I'm an
android or not. If I am. All that I've done. All that I will do.
All that I have, may not be mine. If I'm a robot, I might not even
NADIA: He might be considered intellectual property.
BOB: I've heard of owing your soul to the company store, but I
gotta admit, that's pretty rough.
NADIA: You'll want some background information, Cyber Bob. Most of
what you'll need should be on the Silicon kid's WEBsite--www dot
Virtual Prophet dot com. I'm sure you're familiar with it.
BOB: Yeah, I might have scrolled through that site a couple of
times. By the way does prophet stand for Mohammed or moola?
NADIA: That's why we want you, Bob. You ask the tough questions--
BOB: I've been around for it all, kid. I remember talking to
Steve Jobs one day. I said Stevie, nobody's gonna buy a computer
with something called a "rat" attached to it. Call it a mouse.
SFX Squeak of laptop being opened--typing underneath next few lines
KID: Perhaps we should get started. I have the latest microwave
uplinks on line here in the limo, if you'd like give it a try.
BOB: Well, I don't usually hack in front of others. You know,
it's not polite.
NADIA: We don't mind. We like to watch.
BOB: Ah, before we get started. Who else have you talked to about
this? Who else might know that you could have been manufactured?
KID: Ah, the usual discreet sources. AOL. Yahoo. The IRS.
BOB: Jeez, Kid. The IRS. They're about as discreet as my 4th wife.
NADIA: (WHISPERS) Kid, kid, tell him about Prophetseeker.
KID: Oh, yeah. Ah, Cyber Bob, I've just written a
hyper-interactive gaming program that might help us discover my true
identity. It'll give you a different perspective on-
BOB: That's cute, Kid, but if you want to me to get into Microdeal
I'm going need a look at their encryption set up and talk to a few
geeks about building a Trojan horse.
NADIA: That can wait. You're going to love this.
SFX Taps away on computer keyboard
MUSIC: Over Orchestrated theme
KID: Let us enter.
NARRATOR: (SOME LOW END AND REVERB) In the world of Siliconia
the times of great light had succumbed to a thousand years of
terrible darkness, where the ancient and true ways of the fey people
and their learned wizards had been enshrouded and enslaved by evil
and bloodlust throughout the digital valley.
BOB: Who the heck is that?
KID: The Narrator. Listen, this is the cool part.
721 Medary Ave
Brookings, SD 57006
"Ours is not to invent the machines of the future,ours is to make fun of them when they break down."