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"The Prodigal Sock"

by Brian Price


1 male lead
1 female lead
4 1-scene characters
Tv Announcer

11 pages, 12 minutes

General, Juvenile

Copyright 1989 by Brian Price
all rights reserved


About the author:  

Audio drama and comedy writer/producer Brian Price's work has been produced and performed by some public radio's biggest names--Garrison Keillor, David Ossman of the Firesign Theatre and Dan Coffey-aka, Dr. Science.  In 1995 with Jerry Stearns he formed Great Northern Audio Theatre Productions. They have written and produced Tumbleweed Roundup, Permafrost, MN and many
other shows incuding the live performances celebrating the annual Mark Time Audio Science Fiction Awards.  Price is a founding member of the National Audio Theatre Festivals, Inc.

Author Comments:

This script is a good introduction to kids and people new to radio theatre, because it's pretty easy to produce, but at the same time it does what radio theater does best--changing scene and time fairly effortlessly.  It uses wordplay and makes fun of the announcer.  What else could you want?

For information regarding this script contact:

Brian Price
721 Medary Ave
Brookings, SD  57006


Summary of Production Script

This silly script goes like this:  Joe King loses a favorite sock in the laundry.  His wife, the Underwear Welfare League and the Dirt Sock Market downtown are all unable to him and, worse yet, seem to have their own agendas.  Months later, there's a sock at the door.  Joe let's it in--no questions asked.  The end.

Excerpt from Production Script

by Brian Price


ANNOUNCER:      Laundry Day, 1992

JOE KING:       (COMING ON MIC) (HUMMING TO SELF)  Hmm, hmm, hmm...


JOE:            (STOPS HUMMING)  Huh!  Huh?  Hoo!!!!  Oh, no, Oh gosh.  Where is it?  It's got to be here.  Where could it be?


JOE:            Oh, this is horrible.  It can't be.  (SHOUTS OFF MIC)   Elaine, Elaine, have you seen my sock?

ELAINE:          (OFF MIC)  No, I haven't.

JOE:            Well, you've got to help me.

ELAINE:         (COMING ON MIC)  Alright, was it clean or dirty?

JOE:            Clean, of course.  Nobody ever loses the dirty ones.

ELAINE:         Very true.  Have you looked in the dryer?

JOE:            Yes.

ELAINE:         Stick your head all the way in?

JOE:            Of course.

ELAINE:         How about under the couch?

JOE:            Yes.

ELAINE:         The bed?

JOE:            Yes.  (GETTING IMPATIENT)

ELAINE:         How about, have you looked on your foot?  (GIGGLES)

JOE:            Ah, this is serious, Elaine.  It's missing.  Don't you understand--my favorite sock is gone.

ELAINE:         It'll turn up.

JOE:             It will not.  It's gone.  It's out of here.  (UNDER BREATH)  Oh, what did I do to deserve this?

ELAINE:         Well, it couldn't have disappeared into thin air.

JOE:            It could to.  Remember what happened to the needlenose pliers.

ELAINE:         That's different.  Hey, what are you doing?

  SFX           PICK UP PHONE   DIAL

JOE:            Calling the Kludspars.

ELAINE:         You can't just call the Kludspars--

JOE:            Hello, Sam?  Yeah, fine...(FOR EFFECT MUFFLED PHONE VOICE REACTS)...How are the kids?...(JOE SCREAMS) What the hell have you done with my sock?

ELAINE:         Gimme that--they're our neighbors.  Yes, hi Sam...Oh yes, it's a shame...he's a little worried.  By the way, I've been working on the crossword puzzle, you know the New York Times and I'm stuck on this one--a five letter word for lazy creature...sloth?...well that'll do it.  Why didn't I think of that.  So, you're sure you haven't seen Joe's sock?

JOE:            (IN BACKGROUND)  Liar, liar, pants on fire.

ELAINE:         Joe, stop that or I'll hang up.

JOE:            I don't care.  He's a thief.  He's got my hedgeclippers and my sock.  As a matter of fact, he's got my hedgeclippers, my sock, and he's probably got my needlenose pliers, too.

ELAINE:         I'm hanging up...Bye, bye, Sam.

  SFX           HANG UP PHONE

JOE:            Darnit Elaine.  The neighbors were our best suspects and you just let them off the hook.

ELAINE:         Yep, a real shame.  Now, why don't you just calm down and help me with my cross word puzzle.  It'll get your mind off your sock.

JOE:            I don't want to get my mind off my sock.  I want my sock back here, safe and sound.  It could be out there somewhere by itself in a gutter or something.  Discouraged, lost, and alone.

ELAINE:         So, 5-down.  What's the capital of Bolivia?

JOE:            Sofia.

ELAINE:         No.  I think that's Bulgaria, but it is 5 letters, a "B" country, and it does seem to fit.  Good, it'll work.  So, how about 6-across, Jeannie with the light blank hair.  Huh?  Five letters--let's see--red yellow blue, green.  Green has five letters--great.  Jeannie with the light green hair--sounds a little punkish.


MS. RUMPLE:     You Joe King.

JOE:            Yes.

RUMPLE:         You report a missing sock?

JOE:            Yes, but how did you know?

SNIVEL:         Your neighbor squealed on ya.

JOE:            The rat.

RUMPLE:         Ah, yes, ah, I'm Ms. Rumple and this is my assistant technical trainee, Mr. Snivel.

SNIVEL:         I liked your neighbor's attitude.

RUMPLE:         (CLEARS THROAT)  And we're with the Underwear Welfare League.  And we'd just like to ask you a few questions.

SNIVEL:         And maybe look around a little bit.

JOE:            Sure, I guess.  But let me just say I think you people at the UWL have been doing a wonderful job.  It's important work.

RUMPLE:         Of course it is.  Now, go ahead and search the closet.

SNIVEL:         Wonderful.


SNIVEL:         Sloppy, very sloppy.

RUMPLE:         Well, let's get to it.  Where is that document?


RUMPLE:         Ah, ok--you have a right to remain silent.  You have a right to remain guilty.  You have a right to the remains of a lawyer and anything you say can and will be misconstrued against you in a court of law.  Now, when did you first notice your sock was missing?

JOE:            As soon as I couldn't find it.

RUMPLE:         And when did that occur?

JOE:            As soon as I looked for it.

RUMPLE:         Of course.  Now, when was the last time your shirts were treated for static cling?

JOE:            Boy, that's a toughy.  (SHOUTS)  Elaine.

ELAINE:         (COMING ON MIC)  Yes, dear.  Just putting in a load of towels.  By the way, what's a five letter word for a canadian stocking?

RUMPLE:         (PAUSE)  Hoser, I believe.

ELAINE:         Oh, you're good.  That's great.  It'll fit.

JOE:            Ah, Elaine, this is Ms. Rumple with the Underwear Welfare League.  She has a couple of questions--

ELAINE:         How nice.  Let me just say I think you people at the UWL are doing a wonderful job.  It's important work.

RUMPLE:         Thank you.


JOE:            Good God, what was that?

RUMPLE:         Core samples.

SNIVEL:         (COMING ON MIC)  Here you are, as per procedure.

RUMPLE:         Mmmm.

ELAINE:         Mmmmmmm.

JOE:            MMMMmmmmmmm.

SNIVEL:         MMMMmmmmm, mmmhuh.

JOE:            What are we looking at?

RUMPLE:         Lint.  This is a 3-foot lint sample from behind your dryer.

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Last modified: June 04, 2015